Finding balance is something that everyone - from young people to busy professionals - struggle with, especially if someone is naturally inclined to say yes to requests out of good manners or because it’s what society expects of them. Other people might fear rejection or other negative repercussions if they say no. Still, others might feel a need for approval. Regardless of the reason, it’s important to recognize the need to moderate how many things you agree to do and leverage strategies that pave the way for better balance.
The Positive and Negative Effects of Saying Yes
When we agree to new tasks, especially when they are outside of our comfort zone, that can open up new opportunities for personal and professional growth. We can also unlock talents we didn’t know we had. Showing our adaptability helps cement team relationships and aids in establishing a reputation for reliability.
On the other hand, understanding our limits is a vital part of maintaining our sense of well-being. Overcommitting leaves us stressed, performing below our potential, and risking burnout. We may also feel resentment that could impact our relationships with others.
Overcoming the Tendency to Say Yes Automatically
Let’s explore a few strategies that can help you break the habit of always saying yes right away. The first thing we can do is pause for a beat and consider why we want to say yes. Understanding whether we’re trying to please others or whether it’s a task we are comfortable with helps formulate the proper response. If you need to ask for a little time to figure out how to respond, do it.
If you're finding it challenging to break the habit of always saying yes, try starting by saying no to a small request. Once you see that nobody thinks less of you for doing so, you'll become more comfortable with saying no when it's warranted. Remember to be polite, but don't forget that prioritizing your well-being is justifiable and even necessary.
If you’re not sure what to say when turning down a request for help, here are a few phrases you could consider using.
- Thank you for asking, but I have another obligation.
- I appreciate you asking, but my schedule is full at the moment.
- I appreciate being considered, but I cannot take on any additional tasks right now.
- I would like to be able to help but I won’t be able to, I hope that you can find someone else who is available.
At Kooth, our purpose is to build mentally healthier populations, leaving no one behind. Our effective digital support includes a robust self-directed learning center which helps young people hone boundary-setting skills and the ability to connect with coaches 1:1. Like many other social skills, saying no to requests can take time and repeated effort. If you or a young person you know are struggling with this, remember to be patient with yourself if it doesn’t come right away. With positivity and practice, it is possible to develop the skills necessary to set proper boundaries in your personal and professional life.
